Hello Papa! - A conversation

(The wedding day morning. In guest house lawn. )

Simi: Just sit for five minutes. I am getting tea. 

( Simi rushes)

Papa( calls aloud): Simi I'll get late, there is so much work and..

(His eyes well up but he quickly wipes off all traces)

Simi: Papa ginger tea! You need it badly and they are human beings, everything needn't be perfect the way you are stressing yourself so much..

Papa: Ofcourse it should be. They are our most special guests. Pull a chair.

(Simi sits)

Now you tell me..

Simi: What?

Papa: Are you ready for this one..

Simi: For wedding?

Papa: Yes

Simi: What's there to be ready! Everything is going to be pretty much the same. 

Papa: Arre, you will have a new home from tomorow and new mummy papa.

Simi: Papa please. You are talking as if I was coming home every day after office and wouldn't ring the bell from tomorow. I haven't stayed home for more than 30 days in all in last five years... right since my college began. As far as this new mummy papa thing is concerned, they are called in laws like MIL and FIL.. right!

Papa( Smiling ): But you can't deny that your permanent address in Aadhaar would change..!

Simi: Dad spare me your pj's today..

Papa: And you wont address your MIL as hey MIL..or would you..

Simi: Dad that's courtesy and by the way why are you torturing me..you don't want me to get married,tell me now..I won't!

Papa: Very clever! Why didn't you propose this earlier ..and having spent lakhs on this arrangement, i will be broke if you change your mind tomorow!

Simi( irritated): I think it was a mistake to get tea for you.

(Pretends to get engaged with phone but papa hears her whimper)

Papa: Simi!.. what's this beta... can't dad joke with his little girl.. Wipe them of..you are a brave girl.

Simi( Fighting her tears and tweaking her lips): Nothing.. it's nothing

Papa: Simi look up.. talk to me 

Simi : I am nervous..

Papa: I could notice that..

Simi: I don't know why am I crying .. will things really change?

Papa: Hmm.. isn't change the only constant?

Things aren't as they were ten years back. 

Simi : But how can I suddenly call another house my home! There will be so many new people there. I never thought about anything here..I could wake up any time.. do anything..ask mumma to cook whatever I wanted.. call my friends! 

I am getting scared ..

Papa: Well, there will be some responsibilities and if you take them positively, they will only make you a better person. 

Simi: I don't know if I can carry them well..

Papa: Why not..obviously you will..

Simi: And those expectations and those weird rituals I will be asked to follow..

Papa: See, society has laid down some expectations for its own ease but whenever they conflict with your conscience or common sense, you must do what you feel is right.

Simi: Even if they offend others?

Papa: Try to understand the perspectives of others given their intention is right. You will figure out a way. And about offending, the first person you should think about not offending is your own self.

Simi: Isn't that so easy to say..?

Papa: When people observe that you don't compromise with certain things, gradually they modify their expectations. It's an on going process..

Simi: And what if the intention is not right?

Papa: Stop valuing them. You decide the value and role of people in your life. 

Simi : That makes sense. 

But you know it feels like life was moving smoothly till now and suddenly people would look at me to steer it for them..

Papa: We all take turns being at the helm. Think, don't we ! I was also a carefree lad years back. Isn't that interesting in a way.. to steer a family..

Simi: Like driving a family..

Papa: Yes pretty much. 

But remember there will be people in your car so do care about the speed they are comfortable with and don't take them somewhere they are just not willing to go..but you can have your way mostly..

(Simi looking at her mother who is running around attending guests and various arrangements)

Simi : Will I be able to take care of everyone like her?

Papa: I think yes provided..

( Simi raises her brow in eagerness)

Provided you take care of yourself. The idea is not to wither away but flourish and help others flourish and that can only happen when you are healthy both physically and mentally..

Simi: Doing all this all alone.. isn't that too much..

Papa: Yes, it is

Simi: Then

Papa: Marriage is about two people coming together and vowing to be with each other for a lifetime. The thought is to make life more beautiful than what either of you could have done alone. You both have to participate in this. Aayush is a good boy. You both are together in this..

Simi( smiling naughtily) : And what if Aayush doesn't know that and he hasn't got this advice from his dad!

Papa: You know small kids in villages don't always get clear instructions from any trainer about how to swim.. they figure out on their own when they take a plunge. And nobody ever started swimming just by memorizing the instructions. We only learn in water. Give him time and give time to yourself as well. Accept him as your own and both of you will start swimming effortlessly. Together.

Simi: Yeah, you are right may be..

Papa:There is something? What's it..

Simi: Somehow I have this feeling inside me as if I am going to get chained..

Papa: Okay..

Tell me, what if an inspector after handcuffing a man hands over the key to him, would you still call him a prisoner?

Simi: Nopes..

Papa:So keep your key with yourself. Don't let anyone take control of your life. Right..

Simi: But don't circumstances take control of life ..I mean I have seen my colleagues and cousins .They...

Papa: They give in to circumstances and start focussing on problems than solutions..

Simi: But how does this start? I mean I have seen really strong headed women falling in this trap

Papa: Hmm.. 

Well I think it's because people start working beyond their capacity and become desperate for approval or acknowledgement. They get too concerned about how they are being judged. This proves disastrous in the long run.

Simi: Yeah.. these judgements that our society is so good at pasing!

( lowrs voice,)

Dad I just wish I could have spent more time with you and mumma..

Papa: Simi , we are always with you beta. You have given us memories that will last for a lifetime. When I held you for the first time..you were like an angel I kept on looking at you feeling something I had never felt before... and..

( Distant voice: Simi come fast now, the parlor lady has been waiting for long time now. )

(Simi doesn't pay any heed)

Papa : Simi you should go now..I wil also get going

Simi: Okay as you say..

(Simi gets up)

Papa: But do keep calling..

( She turns around)

Simi: Obviously papa !

And you are saying as if you can't dial a number!

Papa: Yes but I might not 

As time grows I would think you are busy, with work ,with husband , with home..one tends to get immersed in things..

( Simi gives a slight nod and leaves)

( Few weeks later ,while papa is relishing old diwali pictures in the photo album.

Phone rings as it does everyday at the same time without fail and he smiles)

Simi: Hello Papa!